W48 - Two-Year Work Anniversary Retrospective

My two-year anniversary at the company is approaching; this is the second piece in the series reflecting on my tenure. Timely reflection, assessing the situation, and adjusting accordingly.

Reviewing the past year’s experiences: first I witnessed the optimal stream project nearly collapse—at its worst the team was down to four people. Then at the start of the year I failed a promotion, did a thorough postmortem on my situation, and learned from it. After that I led an architecture governance initiative, moving from scratching my head to producing tangible results. Now the team is finally fully staffed. If I mapped this on an emotional curve from a user experience map, it would look like a rebound from the bottom.

Much of the self-reinvention I undertook last year was guided by the framework of one book. It’s one of the most insightful books I read this year: The Capability Trap.

Redefining the scope of work

I need to move beyond the identity of the ‘old workhorse’ and let it remain a symbolic spirit rather than my default role. I know I’m not naturally gifted technically, but diligence has made up for that. Previously, doing things well relied heavily on hard work. Others would carry five blocks once; I would carry five blocks repeatedly, plus another five on my back. Over the past year I’ve realized that wanting to do better requires more than sheer perseverance. The leverage of hard work during the escape-from-poverty phase diminishes. Constantly plowing ahead and working through heavy burdens depends on willpower, which leaves you tense, inflexible, and low on resilience. So I can’t just sweat and move bricks anymore; I need to free up energy to learn how to operate a tower crane to move the bricks.

Robust energy is the foundation for accomplishing anything. After the ‘double reduction’ policy, a term became popular: ‘child physical fitness.’ It refers to having enough energy to handle daily study (or work) without fatigue, while still having spare capacity to enjoy leisure and adapt to sudden events. This clearly applies to everyone.

This year I took a step forward in managing my energy.

By quitting time-wasting online activities and improving my information sources, I kept up a habit of reading one book every two weeks.

I took up kayaking and fencing. I also gained an additional insight: trying unfamiliar leisure activities helps keep the ego small. Staying in one role for a long time breeds an expert mindset and a tendency to critique others. When practicing fencing, anyone present—regardless of age—could offer me critique. Frequently putting myself in a beginner’s position creates more moments of discomfort, which is healthy.

Better energy management also let me make time to reach outward and build relationships.

Redefining relationships

This year I developed many new understandings about the word ‘relationships.’ The essence of society, education, and technology—many conversations eventually boiled down to relationships.

For individuals, good relationships require active cultivation, not passive growth.

Midyear I pulled out my WeChat friend list and did a review. Using Xing Ge’s seven-layer circle theory, mobile internet sits in the innermost layer and the world sits in the outermost. My social connections were almost entirely concentrated in the innermost layer, with six layers separating me from the outer world.

In the second half of the year I made the most important decision: I enrolled in the GaoYan Institute on Dedao. On weekends besides attending classes, I pushed myself into various social activities. Recently I helped the owner of a psychological counseling business organize a private board meeting, successfully resolving some initial operational confusions she had; I learned a lot in the process.

Redefining the self

This year I reconsidered my personal positioning. This is my sixth year at work; I set a vision for myself to transition out of the tech world over the next 20 years. That doesn’t mean I plan to retire as a security guard in 14 years—there’s more nuance to it.

What kind of life state do I aspire to? I now have a new answer: relaxation and stability. My girlfriend is very self-aware; the phrase she’s said to me most this year is, ‘You seem so tense, not relaxed at all.’ Yes—being busy is not the same as being tense.

I recall Huashuai’s boss, Hua Shan, explaining how to respond to pandemic changes: his answer was only three words—wear a mask. If he added three more words: wash your hands often. Change is constant; we never know what tomorrow will bring. So return to what you do know, and first make the things you know align with your actions. That is the only certain approach in an uncertain era. Behind that I see a life of relaxation and stability.

Finally, I want to thank Jerry, from my mentor to my manager. I want to express two points: first, it proves I chose the right person to follow. Second, Jerry is the only peer who has accompanied my growth for two years, like a wise teacher and friend—thank you for your guidance and company.

Appendix:

I haven’t really been writing weekly reports lately and feel guilty, so I should explain. The work content is already detailed in the team’s weekly report, so there’s no need to transcribe it again. Normally I put effort into writing each week’s cognitive iterations, but weekends have been busy recently, so I’ve been lazy.