W48 - Two-Year Work Anniversary Retrospective

It's nearly my two-year work anniversary at the company; this is the second piece in my tenure-reflection series. Timely reflection, assessing the situation, and making adjustments when needed.

Reviewing the past year: first I witnessed the prioritized team’s decline — at the worst point we were down to four people. Then I experienced a failed promotion early in the year, conducted a thorough postmortem, and learned from it. After that I led a special initiative on architectural governance, moving from scratching my head to achieving tangible results. Now the team is finally fully staffed. If I were to map my emotional curve like a user-experience journey, it would look like a rebound from rock bottom.

A large part of the personal changes I made over the past year were structured around the framework of a single book. It was one of the most rewarding books I read this year — The Capability Trap.

Redefining the scope of work

I need to move beyond the identity of the “old workhorse” and keep it as a symbolic spirit rather than a literal role. I know I’m somewhat slow on the technical side, but diligence makes up for it. In the past, to get things done well, hard work was essential. Others might carry five bricks at once, and I would carry five by hand plus five on my back. Over the last year I realized that to do better, sheer toil isn’t enough. The leverage of hard work in the poverty-alleviation phase diminishes. Pushing forward under constant heavy load and grinding away relies on willpower, which leads to a tense, inflexible state and lacks resilience. So I can’t just sweat and move bricks anymore; I need to free up energy to learn how to operate a crane to move the bricks.

Abundant energy is the foundation of all achievements. After the “double reduction” policy, a term became popular: “children’s physical fitness.” It refers to having enough energy to engage in daily study (or work) without fatigue, while still having surplus energy to enjoy leisure activities and to handle emergencies. This applies to everyone.

This year I took a further step in managing my energy.

By quitting time-wasting online activities and improving the quality of my information sources, I kept a habit of reading one book every two weeks.

I picked up kayaking and fencing. I also gained an additional insight: trying leisure activities you’re not good at helps keep the ego small. Staying in one role too long breeds an expert mindset and a tendency to critique others. When I practice fencing, almost anyone present, young or old, feels free to comment on my technique. Regularly placing myself in a beginner’s position gives me more uncomfortable moments—and that’s healthy.

Better energy management also freed time to reach outward and build relationships.

Redefining relationships

This year I gained new understanding of the concept of “relationships.” The essence of society, education, and technology all seemed to boil down to relationships in many conversations.

For individuals, good relationships must be actively cultivated, not left to grow on their own.

Mid-year I exported my WeChat contacts for a review. Borrowing Xing Ge’s seven-layer circle theory, mobile internet sits in the innermost layer and the world in the outermost. My personal network was almost entirely concentrated in the innermost layer, separated from the outer world by six layers.

In the second half of the year I made the most important decision: I enrolled in the Gaoyan Institute on Dedao. Besides attending classes on weekends, I pushed myself into various social activities. Recently I helped an entrepreneur in psychological counseling organize a private board meeting, successfully resolving some of her early business confusions, and I benefited a lot in the process.

Redefining the self

This year I reconsidered my personal positioning. This is my sixth year working; I set a vision for myself to exit the technical circle within 20 years. That doesn’t mean I’ll retire and become a security guard in 14 years—there are other meanings behind it.

What kind of life state do I want? I have a new answer: relaxation and stability. My girlfriend is highly self-aware, and this year she often told me, “You seem so tense; you’re not relaxed at all.” Indeed, being busy is not the same as being tense.

I remember Hua Shan, the founder of Hua & Hua, answering how to respond to pandemic changes with three words: wear a mask. If you add three more words: wash your hands frequently. Change is constant; we never know what tomorrow will bring. Return to what you do know and align knowledge with action first—this is the only certain approach in an era of uncertainty. Behind this I read a life of relaxation and stability.

Finally, I want to thank Jerry, from my mentor to my manager. Two points I want to express: one, it proves I chose the right person to follow; two, Jerry is the only colleague who has accompanied my growth for two years, like a mentor and friend. Thank you for your guidance and companionship.

Appendix:

I haven’t been writing weekly reports much lately and feel guilty, so I should explain. The team’s weekly report already details my work, so there’s no need to copy it again. Normally I put effort into writing weekly cognitive updates, but weekends have been busy recently, so I slacked off.